Saturday, December 12, 2015

The Arranged Marriage

I particularly enjoyed the short story “This Blessed House” from Interpreter of the Maladies. I was able to relate to the story in some sense because my parents met in almost the same exact way as Twinkle and Sanjiv. My mother and father met because their families were good friends. In India, people still refer to this kind of arrangement as an arranged marriage even though it is definitely a more modern version. Traditionally, arranged marriages implied that two people were put together by their parents early on in their childhood and were to be married when they reached a certain age. The kind of arrangement ( the one between Sanjeev and Twinkle and my mother and father) is different because both individuals had a choice to decide whether or not they were interested and wanted to get married. I feel like, from the bits and pieces that I have heard, the early years of my mother and fathers relationship (and the context in which they got married) was similar to the relationship of Twinkle and Sanjeev in “This Blessed House”.
We talked about in class how Sanjiv seems to already have his life planned out for himself. From what I have gathered through personal observations from my father, most Indian men seem to have a stage in life when they deem it “time” to get married and start a family. Aside from the obvious similarity, my father’s name is Sanjiv and Sanjeev is the name of the husband in the story, both my dad and Sanjeev were in a similar stage of life when they got married .My father was 28 years old and had just completed his second degree and had settled down and was working a job when he started searching or opening up to the prospect of getting married. Sanjeev, who is 33 years old, also seems to be reasonably successful in his job as he has a secretary working for him as well as a dozen people under him. Both Sanjeev, and my father Sanjiv, had completed their education and had settled down and reached some success with their jobs. In Indian culture, it is rare for men to marry before they are in their mid twenties. It seems as if there is the sense that Indian men should have a job and have some financial stability before they find a wife. 

Throughout this entire story, I kept thinking about how risky a marriage like this seems. Meeting someone and marrying them only a few months later doesn't sound like a good idea to me. I feel like people should have a period of time where they live together to determine if they are a good match. When I was reading the story, I kept thinking that Sanjeev and Twinkle don't seem like a good fit because of how opposite their personalities and interests are. My parents were married only two months after them met. In this story, Sanjeev and Twinkle married within a few moths as well. My parents have told me that they, similar to Sanjeev and Twinkle, did experience quite a bit of tension and conflict during their first few months as a couple. They then realized that they will each have to give up certain things in order to be happy. It does seem like Sanjeev and Twinkle are slowly starting to make compromises as well. I think if they continue to do so, they can have a long relationship just like my parents.